Forty eight hours..two days to become a ' social animal '....I'm going to a family wedding..dressed up like a dogs dinner..gawd help em...trousers..shirt and tie and jacket..best behaviour..What's that all about..
Queen Hotel..last time I was in there I was a kitchen porter..and they sacked me..for an act of kindness..giving my free meal to a mate...that was when I could comfortably fit into a pair of trousers and couldn't keep my eyes off the girls..and Yes they couldn't keep theirs off me...he he how times change..
Anyway I'm a husband, father and grandfather all rolled into one these days..with the emphasis on rolled..well a little rounded shall we say..
So, best behaviour...bath and a shave help!! ..Don't need shoes..got a pair, still shining about twenty years old been in and out of fashion at least twice..but they still fit..not like the rest..of my attire.
Special requests..A seat between two guests with hearing aids..so I can slurp my soup..a sharp knife to cut my meat..harder to chew these days..and a little card for when I go missing saying 'Gone for a smoke..'
No dancing with strange women..won't they all be strange..bite my lip when someone who's not seen me for years says ' you're looking well ' or makes light of never seeing me dressed up..Families have a habit of amusing themselves by indulging in sarcasm..that's where I'll excel..lowest form of wit..but who cares..Gawd help em!!
Queen Hotel..last time I was in there I was a kitchen porter..and they sacked me..for an act of kindness..giving my free meal to a mate...that was when I could comfortably fit into a pair of trousers and couldn't keep my eyes off the girls..and Yes they couldn't keep theirs off me...he he how times change..
Anyway I'm a husband, father and grandfather all rolled into one these days..with the emphasis on rolled..well a little rounded shall we say..
So, best behaviour...bath and a shave help!! ..Don't need shoes..got a pair, still shining about twenty years old been in and out of fashion at least twice..but they still fit..not like the rest..of my attire.
Special requests..A seat between two guests with hearing aids..so I can slurp my soup..a sharp knife to cut my meat..harder to chew these days..and a little card for when I go missing saying 'Gone for a smoke..'
No dancing with strange women..won't they all be strange..bite my lip when someone who's not seen me for years says ' you're looking well ' or makes light of never seeing me dressed up..Families have a habit of amusing themselves by indulging in sarcasm..that's where I'll excel..lowest form of wit..but who cares..Gawd help em!!
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