Hot Tips n Tricks...

When you travel...by plane or train...or take a bus, you pays your money up front..you buy a ticket and you get to go where you want...Try telling that to some people on a Friday or Saturday night...
We live in a time when some people want things for free and a taxi ride at the weekend is no exception...In seventeen years on the road I've had about a dozen fares do a runner..or do one without paying and when it's a good long job it hurts coming back to town empty handed...
Most people are okay when you ask for money up front appreciating that you have a living to make...a few take umbrage and you have an atmosphere all the way home..anyway you are comforted by the knowledge that you have the cash in your pocket and when they get out still grumpy...you suspect one or two might have tried to get away without paying...
The amateur psychologist in me helps me to weigh up and analyse punters in around ninety seconds before I take off my central locking, another must for the weekend...if they look dodgy or too pissed ie mistaking their ears for their mouth when eating their takeaway...they ain't getting in...

You HaveTo Laugh...

My generosity knows no bounds...Only the other night on my night off I went down to the Salvation Army Soup Kitchen to lend a hand...poor beggars I thought, you can't win though...It was getting late..." Come on " I said...
" Some of us have got homes to go to " all heart I know...
Now how do you get on the subject of sex therapists in your cab? Well I did and I learned that many in the profession recommend the best way to arouse a man is to lick his ear for ten minutes...Personally I think it's bollocks..
Here's a thought....Scousers take everything seriously.....No seriously they take everything...

Some People!!!!

When I see the actions of some passengers, late at night and full of beer and bravado...I have a wry smile to myself...
Picture the scene...Two stragglers in the taxi queue...thrown together perhaps because their friends have long gone home, or they're so drunk they became an embarrassment to them...big girl meets skinny boy and he's all smiles cause he got invited back to hers.
The mind boggles, as does his...they're in the back seat before you know it and snogging. I call it  'opal fruiting ' because it sounds like they're sharing a bag of chewy sweets...
We pull into the road where she lives and she opens her purse to pay, dropping what sounds like a bucket full of loose change on the floor in the back..They both get down on their knees fumbling around making sure to get every penny. I look round and she emerges, hair all sticking up and every bit of her flesh from the waist up flopping out for all to see...I wondered how she had managed to cram it all in her top at the beginning of the night...and certainly didn't fancy his job...Ha ha ha ha..

Chasing Your Tail...

Daytime driving is a monotonous drudge...traffic jams, hold ups tailbacks...buses, learner drivers..all go towards making it a stress....When night time comes , the road is yours to burn and the name of the game is ' get your job drop it off and back as quick as you can for another'...I mustn't tempt providence but there are not many taxi drivers with a clean licence these days...it's the nature of the game...quick thinking, quick reactions, a quick with and a damn good knowledge of your area..

Powers That Be.....

Affectionately known as Pinky and Perky...Mr Haslam and Mr Deakes were the licensing officers when I first got my badge. They were charged with keeping the drivers in line...making sure everybody kept to the rules and appearing on the streets every now and then to wag their finger at someone whose car needed a clean or the tread was getting low on their tyres...perhaps they had forgotten to put on their badge before starting work...Drivers would know to get it right next time and there was a mutual respect...

Today we are governed by a totally different regime who make up the rules as they go along.. Drvers need to be more savvy and on the ball...

The blanket ban on smoking in cars and public places has had a massive effect on many people not least taxi drivers and for some the job has become more stressful..