Deaf Tory Ears To Destroy Taxi Trade

Cheshire West and Chester Conservatives set to get their own way again.on issues they know little or nothing about..
At HQ today a meeting of the Licensing Committee voted to effectively destroy the Private Hire Trade in Cheshire, by imposing restrictions on the life of vehicles on our streets..After ten years a vehicle will be deemed...unfit for purpose..unroadworthy..uncomfortable..and unworkable..In fact replacing a ten year old vehicle with one that is more than three and a half years old, is to be deemed the same..One wonders which hat they plucked that one from.
Cynics would say..the millions on offer for reducing emissions is a golden opportunity not to be missed and poor research and advice on how much Private Hire vehicles contribute to emissions, justifies these decisions.Some might say that the rapid increase in Private Hire vehicles needs to be addressed after realising that oversubscribing is a source of embarrassment..ie too many drivers and not enough business..

It all begs the question...Just how much do the Conservative councillors and their Licensing team know about  the trade??
Do they know? More than half of Chester's Private Hire drivers have to earn three hundred pounds a week to pay for car and radio hire and fuel before they begin to earn any wages for themselves and their families..
Do they know? The increase in driver numbers means less work to go round and drivers sometimes working ten, twelve and  fourteen hour shifts.
Increases in driver numbers result in earnings of less than five pounds an hour..less than the minimum wage..
For those drivers who own their own vehicles, maintenance is costly and finding money to put aside for a vehicle less than three and a half years old an extra hardship..those looking for finance to buy one will struggle..who will lend to someone earning less than the minimum wage?
The financial climate is not about to improve any time soon..vehicles suitable for use as Private Hire are currently between eight and ten thousand pounds to buy, plus interest charges and many drivers will leave the trade to join the unemployed..
Those drivers who rent their vehicles will see the cost of rental increase
The companies hiring the vehicles will run fewer vehicles due to rising costs..
The Private Hire Proprietors will raise their costs for the radio hire..
More drivers will join the unemployed..fares will need to rise..customers numbers will fall..
Just how much do the Conservative councillors know?
More to the point..How much do they want to know?

Where Are Ya??

Two years..two blogs.more crap than you can digest and only one follower..Am I bothered??
Of course I am..I'm heartbroken really..I can hardly see the screen through my tears..my days are empty..my effort goes unrewarded..
But you are the losers..not me...So while I sit and dream up some more drivel to hit you with I'll look away from the screen and give you a chance to get it right!!

Disgruntled Cabbies

To put it mildly...Cabbies in Chester are Hacked off with CWaC Licensing...Talk about killing the trade, their latest proposals to get rid of vehicles when they're ten years old and only allow vehicles to be plated one year old and under..
The implications...Private Hire numbers cut by 40% in three years..up to three hundred drivers could potentially be unemployed..Fare increases..longer waiting times.
In the present financial climate..where customer numbers have dropped and the number of drivers has increased..these ill thought proposals will cause irreparable damage to the taxi trade..

Stinky Little Friend..Not!!!

Would you believe it? I'm stood in the queue at the local Spar..fancy a corn beef buttie..the guy in front of me is positively reeking of ...Skunk....Don't these people realise..they're not only polluting the community..but they're killing brain cells off at a rate of knots..
Then he comes outside gets in his car and drives off.

Saturday dinnertime up the bookies for a bet..walks in it's stinking of skunk,,and here's me a model of consideration for other people won't fart in a crowded room or shop..
What is this plant that eertone's growing ..except me..are we churning out zombies for the future??
.

Mum Said You Have To Learn To Share..

Whether it was a packet of sweets...a pocketful of marbles, the bow and arrow made by my dad or the muddy football..sharing was never my forte..As a young boy with grazed and dirty knees..hours spent chasing a heavy casey round the field..when dusk would come and like the final whistle an end to a summers day where I'd played out the role of Bobby Charlton banging it in between two coats..Manchester United..a team I worshipped. with players I'd imagine I could be, or closely copy..

David Herd..John Aston..Noel Cantwell..Harry Gregg..George Best..John Connelly..they were heroes in a young boys heart...and an allegiance to this day, where as a granddad I watch and listen to young boys running round with footbal shirts emblazoned ..with  the names of Rooney and Giggs and Scholes...

My love for Manchester United has never waned..a team managed by a living legend Sir Alex Ferguson for more than the last twenty years..Trophy after trophy..and yesterday..the Premier League Title wrestled from them by their nearest neighbours Manchester City, in the dying seconds of magical season..

I still don't like sharing and can't wait for the next season to come round with the chance to take it back..
  Come On You Reds..United..United..United!!!!

Social Animal...Me??

Forty eight hours..two days to become a ' social animal '....I'm going to a family wedding..dressed up like a dogs dinner..gawd help em...trousers..shirt and tie and jacket..best behaviour..What's that all about..
Queen Hotel..last time I was in there I was a kitchen porter..and they sacked me..for an act of kindness..giving my free meal to a mate...that was when I could comfortably fit into a pair of trousers and couldn't keep my eyes off the girls..and Yes they couldn't keep theirs off me...he he how times change..
Anyway I'm a husband, father and grandfather all rolled into one these days..with the emphasis on rolled..well a little rounded shall we say..
So, best behaviour...bath and a shave help!! ..Don't need shoes..got a pair, still shining about twenty years old been in and out of fashion at least twice..but they still fit..not like the rest..of my attire.
Special requests..A seat between two guests with hearing aids..so I can slurp my soup..a sharp knife to cut my meat..harder to chew these days..and a little card for when I go missing saying 'Gone for a smoke..'
No dancing with strange women..won't they all be strange..bite my lip when someone who's not seen me for years says ' you're looking well ' or makes light of never seeing me dressed up..Families have a habit of amusing themselves by indulging in sarcasm..that's where I'll excel..lowest form of wit..but who cares..Gawd help em!!

Don't Come Down Unless You're Asked..

' Don't come down unless you're asked.' I can still hear those words ringing in my ears, from my adoptive mother ...Ooh must be..thirty years or more.what it really meant was don't come down again..full stop..

There's a little chapel in rural Cheshire just outside Winsford..with a neatly kept graveyard..there in peace I hope,lies my adopted mother and father..

I remember a teacher telling me once in school about a species of bird called the cuckoo...apart from it's well documented habit  of pecking large holes in a tree trunk, little was known of a cuckoos' behaviour when laying it's eggs..I was reliably informed their eggs were laid  in the nest of another species of bird.and I was in another nest.

My adoptive mother told me at an early age, that my real mother was ' no good, a streetwalker and didn't want me. '

I was born in a run down hospital in Wolverhampton in nineteen fifty two..along with my twin sister..Rose Millicent our birth mother barely grasped the reality of having twin babies and the nurses were left to come up with a name for us, Janet and John seemed the easy choice, characters from a series of childrens book of the time.Facts were Rose, our mother had seven children and my twin sister and I were the only two with the same father..my adoptive mother's assertion about her could have been believable..the truth was she a vulnerable young woman, with little family support..having children out of wedlock in the fifties was frowned upon by many.

My twin sister was adopted within three weeks, girls were said to be more popular for adoption at that time..I went home with my mother..Home for the first eight months of my life, would be a pokey little one bedroom flat above a Mangle repair shop in Potters Lane Wednesbury..it was home too, for Pamela an older half sister from a previous relationship my mother had..
Rose had very little money so had to go out cleaning a couple of times a day..I would sleep in a cramped cupboard at night and spend most of the day in an old squeaky pram..
At eight months old I was ' handed over ' to my adoptive parents...'like a piece of meat ' wearing clothes I'd seemingly grown into...continued...

You Know It Makes Sense...

Some years ago, while driving couple of customers home after a quiet night in town..a voice from the back seat said to me ' The new night out, is a night in.' She'd read it in a magazine somewhere..

I find myself saying the same thing at least once every Friday or Saturday night of late..Is something afoot in our once bustling..vibrant city?..The price of the beer and the blanket ban on smoking in the pub..just two of the nails in the coffin, along with the downturn in custom condemns the friendly local to the history books..

There are not many drinking establishments around that don't offer food with your pint..but think about it..it's cheaper to knock a meal up at home, with the family, bottle of wine or a couple of cans in front of the telly a film..couple of friends..No late night brawls..No waiting in the cold for a taxi home..or standing outside having a smoke.Apart from special occasions..The new night out is a night in for more and more people

Dear Somebody...

Well here we are..early March. It's bloody freezing!!! Even when the sun is out.
Let's see...Fuel prices still on the up up up and job numbers still not increasing...Dear Lord..Dear somebody can we have two busy weekends a month? Oh and some more race days, with plenty of visitors..and can someone tell Mike Jones...he's something to do with the Council, that the four million visitors we do get..come on coaches..use trains and walk round saying ' Chester is a lovely place ' and so it might be but that doesn't pay the bills.
So too many taxis..not enough work and somebody somewhere sitting in a warm office thinks in their wisdom, minus any knowledge of the taxi trade..oblivious to the current financial climate...that it would be a good idea to abolish the zone system for Hackney Cabs and keep on increasing the numbers...
It's true..any extra work on race days and end of each month..when people get paid..they think we want to share it..in the name of  ' free enterprise ' Not Bloody Likely..There are only so many ropes you can dangle over the bridge at any one time..
Methinks there'll be a resounding No!! to ending the zones and to any calls to increase numbers..
They say those that have power..always want more.. and more and now it's a Points system for forgetful and erring taxi drivers..like we're little boys..as if the Licensing officers from CWaC haven't racheted up the rules enough already..they want to introduce more and play ' policeman '....If they can't be seen to be enforcing what they have now.. how will they enforce more..
Oh and if you really want to know what's high on the wishlist..A proper Knowledge Test to ensure all new drivers know their area...it does wonders for customer satisfaction...

Field Of Strawberries,,Analogy

I have an area of land and decide to use it to grow strawberries..There is a market for strawberries and my research tells me there are only a certain number of strawberries that people will buy, so I grow strawberries to satisfy my customers needs, focussing on quality and mindful that should I grow more than I can sell my efforts will have been wasted.
I buy the best strawberry seeds in order to produce the quality my customer demands to ensure they return for more
I employ people who have a knowledge in this field and my business flourishes. I'm satisfied and my customers are happy and continue to buy..so I make a living and those I employ make a living.

My friend purchases an area of land, in the town where he lives, to grow strawberries..He takes on board some of my advice having seen my success..then he decides in his own wisdom that he will employ a small number of people who have little knowledge or experience in this field, alongside others with the required experience and knowledge..
My friend soon notices that his customers are becoming less satisfied with the quality of his strawberries and are buying less. Some of his employees are leaving and he is replacing them with more who have little knowledge in this field..
It isn't long before his business is struggling..complaints follow about the quality and his customers don't return..
My friend struggles to make a living..his customer are unhappy and so are his employees..

Taxi drivers livelihoods are being threatened, as councils continue to issue licences to people with little or no knowledge of the area and how to do the job...

Culture Of Silence...

The only way to get round the one hundred and forty character rule, is to put it in your blog..So in a temporary deviation from my usual  'ramblings '....
In any working class community you'll find unwritten rules..if you've broken the law or done something wrong you don't readily admit your guilt..you let those in authority prove you did it and protest your innocence until the very last..this way you'll retain your supporters..and in some cases your hero status..however misguided it may look..
Should you be the victim of a crime or wrongdoing, a section of the community will treat you with disdain for reporting or disclosing it and the perpetrators identity...
Equally if you witness a crime or wrongdoing, these unwritten rules discourage you from reporting or disclosing the identity of the perpetrators..you should  ' mind your own business..keep your mouth shut ' and  'let the authorities prove it...
Opening your mouth and admitting your guilt is seen by some as a weakness..as is reporting or disclosing to the authorities that you have been the victim of a crime or wrongdoing...
Giving information about a crime or wrongdoing you have witnessed..is seen by many as worse than the crime itself and the perpetrator...
This is wholly immoral, negative and destructive to the fabric of communities who often live in fear of reprisals and bullies..many crimes and wrongdoings go unreported and unpunished because of this deep rooted Culture Of Silence

  

A Breath Of Fresh Air !! Please?

A smoking ban!! Just what we wanted..no more smoking in public places, no burn holes in the seats and carpets..Still flatulation goes unpunished..what do they put in those curries on a Saturday night and why do they insist on keeping the bloody windows closed ugh!!
' Will you take a small dog in your car? ' you're asked and you agree as long as it  doesn't sit on your seat..dog hair and other unmentionables not good. Would you take a skunk in your car??? A skunk..a stripey longtailed squirrel like creature, famed for it's obnoxious, breathtaking smell? Certainly not, but there's an even worse  twenty first century hazard that creeps up on you.. Worse than a bag of sweaty socks or a fresh kipper..only rivalled by a stink bomb and that's the casual user of Skunk..slumped in your back seat, grinning and simmering in a repugnant waft...Chilling Out??

Not On My CV !!

Alcohol!..Drugs!..Illicit Sex!..Crime!..Schrreeech! Bad Drivers!...Racism! Sexuality!...Welcome to the back of my cab...No no..you'll be quite safe, they are topics of conversation entwined in my near twenty year tenure as a Private Hire driver, in a city shrunken by the miles and miles of ...' have you had a good night? 'and sometimes ' where can I get a bit of relief?' from the customer of course..and not famine relief!!

When I set out on this wonderous, educational merry go round...you could hear the sound of  ' Last Orders! .followed by a bell.....in every drinking establishment at ten thirty..then an often impatient  ' Come on haven't you got homes to go to?? ' Now night and day is one and the same to many, the lines are forever smudged..and the drinking establishments are filling up at ten thirty onwards..six in the morning the stragglers make their way home..or work....while polishing off the last of the kebab meat and chips..

Who remembers the pay packet?..The little brown envelope containing the fruit of your weeks labour, stuffed into a back pocket of a ragged pair of jeans..then lying on the kitchen table in the morning..shy of a tenner..perhaps...and a skin full had been had..with change..

Now a cash machine, lies in wait on every corner, brightly lit offering the chance to spend spend spend..more than you earn or can afford,,,and the mobile phone a must for telling your mates how much you've drunk..how incapable you are!!.. to be continued ..

So What's Happening CWaC??

Got your ID...Your mobile ..Your wallet..and most important!!...Your Postcode, you might not get home without it tonight!!...Oh and don't fall asleep in the taxi home..you could be in for a long ride..

The Knowledge test to get a taxi badge in the Cheshire West and Chester area is Laughable..Non existent..and lately you don't even need to speak English or understand your customer...

So what's happening CWaC?? 

The emphasis is on Enforcement..Enforcement..Enforcement..

Is the driver..Wearing his badge..that's easy..

Has the driver..Been smoking in the car?..

Is the car..Roadworthy?..that's a must..

Has the job been pre-booked?

You can't park..there, there, there and there..

On you go driver...don't forget your Sat Nav...

New drivers every week..notwithstanding the job numbers are decreasing..

So What's happening CWaC??

We're On The Run...

Too many taxi drivers and not much work in a city that resembles a ghost town five days a week..if that wasn't tough enough the Licensing Team are upping the ante in a bid to prevent Private Hire drivers from illegally plying for hire in what they call sensitive areas...clubs and takeaways and anywhere where late night drinkers congregate...

There will always be a small number of drivers prepared to ' take a chance ' to earn their living...and with the job count shrinking and new drivers appearing every week, those prepared to take the chance are on the increase...

Hackney drivers are becoming irritated too as the taxi trade comes under sustained pressure from all sides

This has been seen as the time to ' crank up the pressure ' by the over zealous Licensing Officers and temperatures are rising among drivers of  both codes...

Hard Yards..I'd Say

This job can be frustrating and annoying at times...there are times when you could hand in the keys and walk away..Wait though.. there's always a laugh around the corner...A Shitzui in a shopping bag being carried by it's drunken owner on a trip to stock up the beers..that would have been one of the strangest things to find on my seat..and it near happened as the owner gathered up the booze after paying...

I can never understand why some people order a cab in someone else name..Jock did just that..don't know why there wasn't a hint of Scottish in his voice as I pulled up..he knew exactly where he was going as he staggered to my cab, trouble was he couldn't find the door handle..as he fumbled round the wheel arch I did the job for him and he fell in,,,

No prizes for hygiene for my next customer..and it was the fastest five mile ride she ever experienced...my car beginning to smell of something resembling a pigsty...On the way she gave me an insight into the origin of the smell..had moved into a hostel that night after living on the streets for two years...hopefully there's some soap on a rope..

Long Hot Summer...I'm Sure!!!

Give Me Strength

Getting out of bed on a Sunday morning never gets any easier. Long gone are the birds chirping between themselves,to be replaced by children arguing noisily...
Ah well here goes...throw off the quilt and the cat scarpers, narrowly avoiding being impaled on a picture hook and a glassy stare that means...Dam cat hairs...stay off my bed where's my slipper.
Having a bad start to Saturday night on the road means you try to end on a good note..First job..fill up with fuel trying not to moan at the cashier over the price and Yippee...who wants to give me some money...
And here he is bearing down on me..after three ' ring backs ' must have missed them while arguing in the mirror about the hair. Door slammed  and off we go to a one man rant about patriotism, beginning with the Eurovision thing..his forefathers and how they saved us from the Nazis, to an admission that he is related to them too...
Me being me I just let him rant..eyes on the road and the occasional grunt and nod...he knew it was going in one and out the other and it made him rant louder..There we are ..in town..hand, out five quid and the door slams again..I just know someone is going to spark this guy out before the night is over..
There's always a good job round the corner and there they were four guys chucked out of the local venue for singing..times have changed..I've listened to some strange conversations but these grown men talked of nothing but how they were going to go home and masturbate..bang goes my interjection and the risque jokes...just drive John it will be over soon...and it was, half an hour and the last one out couldn't wait to give me thirty five pounds and run up his garden path...I didn't even shout ' have a good night ' I was sure he was going to..
Saturday night just wouldn't be the same without a couple of smart arses asking ' have you been busy ' or ' what time you on till ' but I can live with that...
You do meet some genuinely nice people out and about too, who tell you bits of their life story and where they're up to in it and you don't mind giving them your attention..
Anyway on we go...( time for a brew and a ciggie )

Chips and Bloody Cheese..

What better way to decorate the back seat and carpet in your car? Chips and grated cheese...Bloody marvellous!! Sunday afternoon spent hoovering and wiping everywhere down in the car and this is what you find...I'm going ask if I can have a trailer on the back..
Amazing, just when you need to hoover the car it hammers down with rain all day..Ah well it was a thirty quid job and at least I got paid..
Tuesday night and I'm erring on the side of night off..Streets are empty and all you get is the hardened drinker taking home a belly full of beer and passing on their wisdom, in between burps and farts..

Not Tonight Mate!!!

As the inquest continues into the lack of comments on my blog...here's a subject to ' warm the cockles of your heart.' and maybe stir a few door-
mant emotions...
Doormen..Bouncers..Party Poopers...Thugs...Bully Boys...Yes you guessed it the unintelligent body mass standing between you and a good night out..
Here are a few of the excuses you will hear as you try in vain to get in your favoured haunt..tonight!!
Your hair is too long..or too short, We don't allow tattoos, You're wearing the wrong shoes..wrong trousers wrong shirt, no jeans, no T shirts, there's too many of you...Where you from? Where's your ID, We don't like your face..your girlfriend can come in but you can't..You're too drunk..not drunk enough..We barred you last week..Phew...Cause I'm in a bad mood and I need to impress the girls standing behind you..move on..I said move on..
Have they got massive chips on their shoulders..who would stand on a club door at the weekend with that look on their face that says ' I'm going to cock up your night..your weekend stops here '

Dual Badge..dual personality hee hee..

That's it, badge renewed for thee years...might it be my last one..who knows??
Got a dual badge now...what's all that about..ya mean I can drive a Hackney in the day and Private Hire by night or vice versa...why would I?  I think I said it before, Private Hire drivers have more fun and they do...
Big roly poly piece in my car last night...pink dressing gown and black and white spotted pyjamas, going to accident and emergency..you just wouldn't..couldn't stop shaking..couldn't stop laughing that was me..Then there's the drunken Irish guy..looking for the sanctuary of my cab...he smelled so strong of beer you'd think he'd had a bath in the stuff...different pick up place every time but never forgets where he lives..and the conversation is an education in itself..last night it was the internet..I think I flummoxed him when I asked him if he'd tried www.donkeyjacket and after paying me he staggered down his path with a puzzled expression on his face..Ahh roll on the weekend..

Monday Morning Aaaagh..

Got to get a new pair of shoes...seem to have worn the old ones out on the accelerator pedal..only fit for the bin now.
Been flying the flag for Private Hire Drivers since August..is it only London Cabbies  who twitter??? In this area the Hackneys do a lot of sitting around the station..can't be much fun..well there's too many of them..
Lot's of the Hackneys are joining the two main Private Hire companies, cause they can't make the job pay...Don't you wish the council would stop meddling with the taxi trade and let us get on with earning a crust..
Speaking of crusts...that's all it was this weekend, I might just as well turned counsellor to advise the damsels in distress..This weekends familiar theme was ' all men are control freaks ' it's the times we live in I think..
The guys seem to spend most of the night worrying who the girlfriends are talking too or looking at..than having a drink..It's amusing when I look in the rear view mirror and the couple in the back are sitting as far apart as they can giving each other dirty looks..it knocks the ' icebreaking ' on the head...

In Real Time...

Wednesday morning...Three days since the passing of one of my all time favourites comics, Sir Norman Wisdom. What a legend he was, I was brought up on his hilarious films and treasure my box set of his finest..
As a Manchester United fan I feel I should smile at the continuing demise of Liverpool  Football Club, a bitter rival but no club is safe today it's all about money and greed...
Attended a meeting with Licensing officers yesterday...talked about continuing bias towards Hackney cabs...excuses excuses...always looking for ' wriggle room ' to give the Private Hire Trade a hard time..

Hackney.... No Thanks...

Surveys carried out, admittedly rather crudely, will show that most fare paying customers in this neck of the woods prefer to use Private Hire cars than Hackney cabs...Why you might ask???
For a start the general perception is that Hackney cabs are more expensive...swings and roundabouts I say...and who wants to be picked up in a big black ugly thing, they say...
The powers that be say it's safer to travel by Hackney and they're easier to identify...I say there's a bias but it doesn't work...There's a more personal thing about using a car as opposed to a cab..maybe that's why the Hackneys are outnumbered by a ratio of four to one...in truth there are too many taxis on the road in Chester today and it impacts on the wages you can earn..try telling that to Cheshire West and Chester Council...they don't listen...
As is the case with most Licensing authorities throughout the country...they make their own rules up as they go along, taking little or no notice of the drivers..
For instance, The Hackneys in Chester commissioned their own survey, at great expense, to determine the need for extra cabs in the area and the results were ignored, the council opted for their own survey and today the ranks are overflowing mainly with new Hackneys some of the owners are struggling to make a living and make their monthly payments on brand new cabs....
For more years than I can remember Private Hire have had no say in what goes on and what rules are imposed on them. Last year I was instrumental with five other drivers in setting up our own Private Hire Association and we took up the cudgel in an effort to be heard...It's a long hard road and to date we only have a few minor concessions from a Licensing authority seemingly ' hell bent ' pushing both Private Hire and Hackney to the limit..

Hot Tips n Tricks...

When you travel...by plane or train...or take a bus, you pays your money up front..you buy a ticket and you get to go where you want...Try telling that to some people on a Friday or Saturday night...
We live in a time when some people want things for free and a taxi ride at the weekend is no exception...In seventeen years on the road I've had about a dozen fares do a runner..or do one without paying and when it's a good long job it hurts coming back to town empty handed...
Most people are okay when you ask for money up front appreciating that you have a living to make...a few take umbrage and you have an atmosphere all the way home..anyway you are comforted by the knowledge that you have the cash in your pocket and when they get out still grumpy...you suspect one or two might have tried to get away without paying...
The amateur psychologist in me helps me to weigh up and analyse punters in around ninety seconds before I take off my central locking, another must for the weekend...if they look dodgy or too pissed ie mistaking their ears for their mouth when eating their takeaway...they ain't getting in...

You HaveTo Laugh...

My generosity knows no bounds...Only the other night on my night off I went down to the Salvation Army Soup Kitchen to lend a hand...poor beggars I thought, you can't win though...It was getting late..." Come on " I said...
" Some of us have got homes to go to " all heart I know...
Now how do you get on the subject of sex therapists in your cab? Well I did and I learned that many in the profession recommend the best way to arouse a man is to lick his ear for ten minutes...Personally I think it's bollocks..
Here's a thought....Scousers take everything seriously.....No seriously they take everything...

Some People!!!!

When I see the actions of some passengers, late at night and full of beer and bravado...I have a wry smile to myself...
Picture the scene...Two stragglers in the taxi queue...thrown together perhaps because their friends have long gone home, or they're so drunk they became an embarrassment to them...big girl meets skinny boy and he's all smiles cause he got invited back to hers.
The mind boggles, as does his...they're in the back seat before you know it and snogging. I call it  'opal fruiting ' because it sounds like they're sharing a bag of chewy sweets...
We pull into the road where she lives and she opens her purse to pay, dropping what sounds like a bucket full of loose change on the floor in the back..They both get down on their knees fumbling around making sure to get every penny. I look round and she emerges, hair all sticking up and every bit of her flesh from the waist up flopping out for all to see...I wondered how she had managed to cram it all in her top at the beginning of the night...and certainly didn't fancy his job...Ha ha ha ha..

Chasing Your Tail...

Daytime driving is a monotonous drudge...traffic jams, hold ups tailbacks...buses, learner drivers..all go towards making it a stress....When night time comes , the road is yours to burn and the name of the game is ' get your job drop it off and back as quick as you can for another'...I mustn't tempt providence but there are not many taxi drivers with a clean licence these days...it's the nature of the game...quick thinking, quick reactions, a quick with and a damn good knowledge of your area..

Powers That Be.....

Affectionately known as Pinky and Perky...Mr Haslam and Mr Deakes were the licensing officers when I first got my badge. They were charged with keeping the drivers in line...making sure everybody kept to the rules and appearing on the streets every now and then to wag their finger at someone whose car needed a clean or the tread was getting low on their tyres...perhaps they had forgotten to put on their badge before starting work...Drivers would know to get it right next time and there was a mutual respect...

Today we are governed by a totally different regime who make up the rules as they go along.. Drvers need to be more savvy and on the ball...

The blanket ban on smoking in cars and public places has had a massive effect on many people not least taxi drivers and for some the job has become more stressful..

Bullshitters

 One of the ' perks' of being a taxi driver is getting to look at the scantily clad ladies in town at the weekend, I say, but you can look at the menu without selecting....Not according to some taxi drivers who would have you believe ' they didn't have any money so offered to pay in kind ' yeah right....

There's always someone who has earned more than you and delights in rubbing it in...then there's the guy who has had big job after big job and earned three times what you have when you've been out twice as long and it's been a quiet night yeah right..In one and out the other I say!!!

The Early Days....

Cut my teeth in the taxi trade in the office, answering the phones and giving out the jobs..On each six hour shift you would fluctuate from public enemy to drivers best friend.,.all goes to prove you can't please all the people all of the time.
I found myself in among a group of grumpy, cynical, hardened Hackney drivers and a couple of oddball operators...I  found myself batting off accusations of being biased and ' bent ' accepting favours in exchange for giving out good jobs...this was never the case, although it became a source of fun going along with one or two of the drivers....
Some of the names the drivers gave each other were amusing ,,,Pig Man..Rabbit Man...Poison Dwarf...Shovel Hands...to name a few..
It wouldn't be long before I could recognise each of the drivers voices...and many of the customers on the phone too...
' Taxi Drivers ' I was told were people who ' couldn't fit in or conform ' in a proper job...How right they were and after a year I aspired to be one of them...

Pet Hates..

Seventeen years of people, invading your space...in your car ..in your face.....What can be worse than four blokes, been for a curry, getting in your cab and one decides to practically shit his pants while they decide to argue who's guilty..your face is changing colour...

Then there's the ' know all ' thinks they know the shortest route and proceed to navigate their way while you grit your teeth at every turn. They end up paying more cause it's the long way...why do people confuse the fastest with the shortest...

I don't go for all the loud music, like to listen to a good news topic or phone in...' Turn the radio up driver..put some music on ' as they reach for the radio with their hands stinking of kebab meat...

In My Own Space In Time..

There's plenty to be said for being your own boss....for seventeen years I've been just that. A knight of the road to some, escorting old ladies home with their shopping by day and drunken revellers by night...Listening to the gossip and the moans and groans....and the male and female drink fuelled adventures in the small hours..

As a taxi driver, or private hire driver the official title, you clock up many thousand of miles...mostly in and around your own patch, mine being Chester in the North West of Britain...Give me a destination and I'll get you there.....